1,000 words

Too much to say, far too little time. So here's some pictures to show you whats been going on with my life.

Also- I'm thinking of getting a tumblr instead. Does Anyone use that too?

6 months vacation

I have not used this blog in.. god, a very long time. Now that I have a brand new MacBook Pro I think I'd like to make more use out of this. Maybe I'll even write Bernardo's blog about Boston transportation haha. We'll see..

Life's very different now. I'm the manager in training(MIT) at LUSH and I still love my job. I get paid really well to do something I love- I couldn't be any luckier. And it feels good to be busy a lot of the time. It keeps my energy up and I feel a lot more accomplished. I have a beautiful apartment by Stonybrook in Jamaica Plain. Newly renovated, Sheri and I are the first people to live in it for the last 7 years- brand new appliances, brand new floors, granite counters, breakfast bar, dim-able lights throughout the whole place, even a towel warmer in the bathroom! I wish everyone could come see it.. I have a space to concentrate on my art, which has been slowly becoming more of a part of my life again. I've been reading a lot more which is helping me keep inspired and educated. But then, some things are the same. I'm still in love, after almost two very long years. Things have been tough, but through the thick and thin of it I know we're learning a lot and it's only making us stronger. Remembering: everything happens for a reason, and this space and time is only a test. And assuring myself that if it never works out,

then it's for the best. I'm just really focused on MY life right now, and letting whatever happens around me just happen. I have more important things to worry myself over..

I found out a month ago that my father has cancer. This has been very hard on me, my dad is my best friend and probably the biggest influence on me and has made me the person I am now. They haven't quite found the source of the cancer- they've changed their thoughts a couple of times now, but they've located a mass in his bladder which he's scheduled to have it removed, but the biggest concern right now is whether or not it's spread to his bones. In which case, there's nothing they can do for him. Anyone who knows me well, knows my father has been sick for a very long time now. This is not the first time the thought of him dying has passed through my head. Although this time, it's different. It's much more real. But I'm trying to just stay positive about it, and send lots of positivity his way. That's all we can really do about it until we know more.

I've been trying to apply that as a new rule to my life in general- 100% positivity, 100% of the time. It just feels better to feel good. And I have a lot of things in my life to feel good about. I just need to remember that when times get really tough.

Anyways, back to my soynog and folding clothes haha!

hah

Everything happens for a reason..

Exactly.

heck yesss

Awesome night at work! Awesome, awesome, awesome. To sum it up for you.. my manager is going to submit my resume to the regional manager for the manager in training position!! SO SIKED! This is what I've wanted, and apparently after just two months I'm ready. I know if I put my mind to anything, I can make it happen. I've been in such a good mood ever since. The whole conversation made me feel really confident, I'm so happy she thinks so highly of me. It means a lot, and the fact that I get so into my job and giddy about how good I do isn't so corny after all.. it's part of the reason I'm getting recommended for the position!

LOVE MY FUCKING LIFE!!!
EVERYTHING IS GOING SOO GOOD!!!

two things

1. Whoever came up with time zones is a genius. I woke up and for some reason started thinking like- why isn't there just one time for the whole earth, they make it so complicated for traveling and trying to figure out what time it is where. And then I realized that was a stupid thought, and that it makes so much sense, and how hard it must have been to sit down and figure out how to spread out something like TIME for the whole world.. like, how do you decide things like that? I don't know, weird thought, I probably sound stupid, whatever.

2. Through random discussion last night, I found out that Justin and I were at the very same show for both of our first concert.. with our parents! haha Powerman 5000 and Kid Rock at the Tsongas Arena! bahaha It's such a small world, it kills me. I'm still laughing over this discovery.


D2E Festival in a little bit... I'm so nervous now!
Hope I do well and make mama proud!

mission accomplished!

Finally met Bernardo!

That's been a life long goal I've been trying to achieve, and finally did! haha I really wish we had gotten a picture to document it happening.. several years in the making. What a cool dude!

uhh

Why do I do this to myself? I let down my guard so easily, allowing myself to be set up for disappointment. I just want to feel secure again.. and to not have to see things I don't want to see. To not even have to worry those things are even going to be there. I'm starting to question everything.

Should I dig deeper for the truth?
Or should I just accept the unknown and move on?


Ughhh my tummy doesn't feel well..

decisions, decisions.

Everything is always so up and down. Always. I really need to start exploring my options and making some serious decisions about the important things that are going to affect my future; jobs, living situation, friends. Actually, friends is just about under control. I'm happy with the decisions I've made in that department- I know that I'm where I belong now and that it was not a good environment for me where I came from. Anyways, serious decision making.. yeah.

I can't wait for my next day off. I'm going to do so many things!

kickin' it

Another really awesome night at work! Sold a bunch of stuff, a customer complimented me to my manager, and my manager complimented me at the staff meeting for the rockin' day we had, staff meeting was awesome, and I'm still looking forward to the D2E Fesitval! Feels so good to be doing something with myself and contributing again!

I think that no matter where in life I'll ever be, I'll always be yours.

Is that weird?

I have a very different perspective on things right now. I'm just relaxin' and enjoying things. Taking one step at a time and trying to stay positive. Everything works out in the end, and I trust myself to make whatever decisions are best for me. Blah blah blah, I'm going to go snuggle Gatsby and pass out! I'm runnin' on empty!

Stuntin' like my daddy.

Uh, what??

Omg, I'm soo tired...

rant 2

Totally unrelated to the last entry.. I also think it's funny when people try and tell someone something strictly for selfish reasons, and try and play it off like they're just telling that someone for their benefit and because they think they're a good person (even though they've only met them once), not realizing they're hurting this person and using their feelings as a pawn in some selfish driven, childish game.

LAME.

Maybe you should pay as much attention to yourself as you do other people and their business. What kind of life are you living if you thrive off drama and going out of your way to make people miserable? Going back to 8th grade with this one.. but get a fucking life! Find something else to occupy your time with, get a hobby or some sea monkey's to watch or something. Maybe try and dig deeper into yourself and attack your inner demons and try to learn why you're such a fucking miserable person inside. Oh, but that's too hard.. you'd rather just bring everyone else down to your level and pick other people apart. You're a vulture. An opportunist. Ugh, and I fucking know you're going to read this too! You think I'm such a bad person, go out of your way to tell important people to me how you reeeeally feel, yet you still find the time to check up on me and keep your tabs. You're fucking pathetic. And everyone else knows it too, I don't even need to go behind your back and tell them.

Funny how that works.