Monday, April 13, 2009


Everything happens for a reason..


heck yesss

Awesome night at work! Awesome, awesome, awesome. To sum it up for you.. my manager is going to submit my resume to the regional manager for the manager in training position!! SO SIKED! This is what I've wanted, and apparently after just two months I'm ready. I know if I put my mind to anything, I can make it happen. I've been in such a good mood ever since. The whole conversation made me feel really confident, I'm so happy she thinks so highly of me. It means a lot, and the fact that I get so into my job and giddy about how good I do isn't so corny after all.. it's part of the reason I'm getting recommended for the position!


Sunday, April 5, 2009

two things

1. Whoever came up with time zones is a genius. I woke up and for some reason started thinking like- why isn't there just one time for the whole earth, they make it so complicated for traveling and trying to figure out what time it is where. And then I realized that was a stupid thought, and that it makes so much sense, and how hard it must have been to sit down and figure out how to spread out something like TIME for the whole world.. like, how do you decide things like that? I don't know, weird thought, I probably sound stupid, whatever.

2. Through random discussion last night, I found out that Justin and I were at the very same show for both of our first concert.. with our parents! haha Powerman 5000 and Kid Rock at the Tsongas Arena! bahaha It's such a small world, it kills me. I'm still laughing over this discovery.

D2E Festival in a little bit... I'm so nervous now!
Hope I do well and make mama proud!

mission accomplished!

Finally met Bernardo!

That's been a life long goal I've been trying to achieve, and finally did! haha I really wish we had gotten a picture to document it happening.. several years in the making. What a cool dude!

Saturday, April 4, 2009


Why do I do this to myself? I let down my guard so easily, allowing myself to be set up for disappointment. I just want to feel secure again.. and to not have to see things I don't want to see. To not even have to worry those things are even going to be there. I'm starting to question everything.

Should I dig deeper for the truth?
Or should I just accept the unknown and move on?

Ughhh my tummy doesn't feel well..

decisions, decisions.

Everything is always so up and down. Always. I really need to start exploring my options and making some serious decisions about the important things that are going to affect my future; jobs, living situation, friends. Actually, friends is just about under control. I'm happy with the decisions I've made in that department- I know that I'm where I belong now and that it was not a good environment for me where I came from. Anyways, serious decision making.. yeah.

I can't wait for my next day off. I'm going to do so many things!

Friday, April 3, 2009

kickin' it

Another really awesome night at work! Sold a bunch of stuff, a customer complimented me to my manager, and my manager complimented me at the staff meeting for the rockin' day we had, staff meeting was awesome, and I'm still looking forward to the D2E Fesitval! Feels so good to be doing something with myself and contributing again!

I think that no matter where in life I'll ever be, I'll always be yours.

Is that weird?

I have a very different perspective on things right now. I'm just relaxin' and enjoying things. Taking one step at a time and trying to stay positive. Everything works out in the end, and I trust myself to make whatever decisions are best for me. Blah blah blah, I'm going to go snuggle Gatsby and pass out! I'm runnin' on empty!

Stuntin' like my daddy.

Uh, what??

Omg, I'm soo tired...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

rant 2

Totally unrelated to the last entry.. I also think it's funny when people try and tell someone something strictly for selfish reasons, and try and play it off like they're just telling that someone for their benefit and because they think they're a good person (even though they've only met them once), not realizing they're hurting this person and using their feelings as a pawn in some selfish driven, childish game.


Maybe you should pay as much attention to yourself as you do other people and their business. What kind of life are you living if you thrive off drama and going out of your way to make people miserable? Going back to 8th grade with this one.. but get a fucking life! Find something else to occupy your time with, get a hobby or some sea monkey's to watch or something. Maybe try and dig deeper into yourself and attack your inner demons and try to learn why you're such a fucking miserable person inside. Oh, but that's too hard.. you'd rather just bring everyone else down to your level and pick other people apart. You're a vulture. An opportunist. Ugh, and I fucking know you're going to read this too! You think I'm such a bad person, go out of your way to tell important people to me how you reeeeally feel, yet you still find the time to check up on me and keep your tabs. You're fucking pathetic. And everyone else knows it too, I don't even need to go behind your back and tell them.

Funny how that works.


i fucking hate when people stick their noses where they don't belong and don't even get all their facts straight before they open their fucking mouths. you fucked up an amazing thing for me and made me look like something i'm not, and no one fucking believes a word i said and that's so fucked up because who the fuck are you to be trusted?! i am not a bad person, i did nothing wrong, and i end up fucking lost and empty. for nothing. over fucking nothing. thanks fucking assholes with big fucking mouths and no sense of fucking respect.

i've been holding this in for a week now and for some reason i just fucking snapped. i'll get over things and get on with my life and continue living, but i don't trust fucking anyone anymore and i'm mourning over the loss of something that was so fucking important to me when i really should be enjoying that to the fullest and loving life.