Sunday, January 25, 2009

okay, i think i'm ready now.

I don't even know where to start, really. The last two months of my life have been a never ending rollercoaster, and in retrospect, most of my life has been that way. I think I've gotten used to it- the ups and downs don't make me as sick anymore. They just make me a little crazier. But that's normal, right?

ACCEPTANCE.

Instead of dwelling on the issues I'm facing right now, I'm going to focus on where I'm going to go from here. I'm excited to spend time on myself and not have to worry about anyone else but me. Probably sounds a bit selfish, but I think that's appropriate. I need to set some big goals and do nothing but work towards them to get my life back where it's supposed to be. I've already started making a list. First things first- get a job. I want to work real hard and save up some money. And I want to find a new home. I have a few ideas, and they're all far, far away. I need to get back to the original plan I had a year ago, but take it and reintroduce it to my life now and adjust it accordingly. It's going to take a lot of determination, but that's fine because I don't have anything else to focus my energy on now. And I think that was all part of the plan. No matter how much I hate it.


It feels really good to be thinking about myself again.

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