ketchup!

So much has happened in the last couple days! This is why I say "my world spins way too fast." I almost can't keep up.

Saturday night was the best. It was very low-key and exactly what I needed- some time in the woods, a couple beers, good friends..

and a fire.

Sunday was spent with my family for my brother's birthday /superbowl party. I didn't care much for the game at all, but it felt really good to hug my parents and tell them I love them and see my brother and all his childhood friends. In a way, they're all my little brothers haha. It's strange seeing them all grown up into young men and it's funny that they still look up to me and think I'm cool. I like being the cool older sister. I would do anything for those kids, and I know they would for me. It's a gooood feeling!

I feel old, though. My LITTLE brother is 21 now. I can take him to bars.. oh god.

Last night was a really intense night. Dave came over and it was the first time I've seen him (besides briefly grabbing some of my stuff) in a couple weeks. It was a conversation that needed to happen and it went soo much better than I thought it would; he told me he'd wait for me to figure myself out and that losing him is the last thing I need to worry about. Which is such a relief, I've been feeling like he gave up on me and it hurts really bad to think the person you love is abandoning you. But that's really not the case, he's been such a great friend giving me all the support I need. We may not be able to be together right now but I know that he's still a part of my life and that I need to do this right this time, for myself and for him. I feel like it'll be a lot easier to focus on changing things about myself now, knowing I don't have to worry or be sad about that and that someone believes in me.

The job hunt continues! I've been glued to my computer/craigslist, applying at everything and anything. I called Cafe Luna today to follow up on my interview, but unfortunatly the owner that I spoke with isn't usually in during the week. I'm getting a little nervous.. I have until Saturday to find a job, or else I'm homeless. Anyone have a couch I can sleep on? haha